I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
