I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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