I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
