your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
