I'm eating all of the evidence.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
