gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
