Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
