Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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