so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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