i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
a search helicopter?!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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