But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
