i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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