with your own penis?
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
