there was a trapeze. enough said
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
