After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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