He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
