and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
