So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
