We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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