I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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