i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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