You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
