Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
