this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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