hell yes lets make some ravioli
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
