Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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