You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
