just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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