Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
