She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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