Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
