Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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