the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize