Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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