And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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