all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
