It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My balls are so social today.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We left an ass print on the piano.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
