I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
