the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
