Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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