I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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