And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
