you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
