I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
