Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
