she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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