just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
