Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she looked like the before picture.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
