There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
