why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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