nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
